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try, try again…

April 15, 2012

     i am here to try again. its not an easy thing for me to do or to admit to, but i am here to try again, nonetheless.  time will tell if i have made the right decision, but if i gave up,  i would never forgive myself.   there is an old proverb that says if you fall down seven times, you must get up eight. well, i am here to say that i have gotten up again.

     berkshiregirl began when my love of the berkshires grew so big, that i knew i needed to write a book….  during the course of writing my book, i would often relate my facts and stories of the berkshires to my friends and family, and anyone else who would listen… i also started a blog online, and when facebook came along, that became a natural progression for berkshiregirl (actually my friends begged me to start a separate page from my personal one, so my wall wouldnt be filled with berkshirethis and berkshirethat), and that was a nice place for me.  with the encouragement of friends and family, i decided to venture further into the business end of it, and bought a heatpress and printer, and started making  tshirts to sell online and at local events…. in the beginning it was just berkshiregirl shirts, but soon started with a berkshirekid, and berkshirebaby line….. i was hoping to further the retail line by selling coffee mugs, hats, etc, and to have them carried in the local retail stores…..

     i have also known for sometime that i have had a hidden illness that wreaks havoc on my body, but soon after the first local fair that i vended, i knew that something was really wrong with me…. i had always had weakness and soreness during my flare ups, but last spring my body took a turn for the worst, and i was forced to rethink the whole business of berkshiregirl…. i had so many days/weeks that i literally couldnt get up my front steps……so instead of vending at local events and helping my business to flourish, i got back on the merry go round of doctors that go along with this disease…..primarys, rheumatologists, dermatologists, neurologists, and any other -ists that you can think of….of course, with my luck, i have a rare disease known as dermatomyositis, with a bunch of other smaller illnesses that go along with it….doctors in these parts are mystified by it, and have a hard time treating me, because of their ignorance to the disease…..

     needless to say, my business stalled, my garden withered and my kids had a very lackluster year…. i let my blog slide into oblivion, before it even got off of the ground……. though i did keep my facebook pages up( they were easy enough to keep active), my writing hit a wall, as i was too depressed to be enthusiastic about it…….but, thats all in the past….i am looking at the future now.  i have gotten my health under control in the last year, and once again am feeling some vitality….. i still dont have enough energy to be a vendor, but am writing again, and coming up with new designs for my berkshiregirl/kid/baby/dog line……. and the blog is back, well, sort of…..it still needs much updating on the pages, but i am going to put it public again, anyways……it just seems like the right thing to do…..

     so, there it is….my lame year in a not so small nutshell……i hope that you find it to be an interesting  read, and some useful information on the pages…. am hoping to fill them with all of berkshiregirls favorite local things and places….enjoy!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Terry Clark permalink
    April 24, 2012 2:50 pm

    Just want to reinforce that I am looking forward to reading more! And I hope you continue to feel better and better.

  2. May 3, 2012 2:17 pm

    I also suffer from an invisible illness. I have Chronic Daily Migraines. I live here in Stockbrige, love the Berkshires but do not get to enjoy them the way I really would like to. My 3 young boys have to deal with my migraines too…it affects all of us. My husband owns a business in G.B. and we are pretty much in survival mode all the time. I am currently looking for an invisible illness support group in the Berkshires and haven’t had much success…..it’s a lonely thing. Living with pain that noone can see or understand on a 24/7 basis….I love your blog. i hope you are doing well.

    • May 4, 2012 2:47 pm

      i too, have looked for similar support groups around here, with no luck…. invisible pain is the worst, especially when you look fit and vibrant, lol….perhaps we can get together and start something up….. i get tons of migraines with my illness also, no fun at all, especially for your kids…i used to get them as a kid also,,,,my kids are in school in gb, and i live in stockbridge, so we have much in common! i would love to email you to chat further, if you like : ) have a great(though cloudy)day!

      • May 4, 2012 3:05 pm

        That would be fantastic. I have not met anyone around here who has any idea of what I go through. My email is jlgermain77@gmail.com Please feel free to email me anytime. Maybe we can set up a group. That is a great idea. And I know there HAVE to be others in our area in a similar situation. Thanks for getting back to me. Enjoy your day as well….such is April….my kids and I were just talking about this last night..this is about what we expect from April…and we hope for rain so our garden will do well this summer…

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